What is "wordy" anyway?
One revision strategy
In most professional settings, good writing = clear and concise writing. (Note I did not write “in most academic settings…”).
We all know wordiness is undesirable, and yet it is not easy to get to the point and only say what is necessary.
But here is the good news: “wordy” writing is fairly easy to fix.
Unlike other writing problems that require complex revision on the level of the document, wordiness can usually be fixed on the level of the sentence.
More good news: wordiness often corresponds to recognizable technical missteps.
Here’s one such technicality to be aware of:
The Prepositional Phrase Chain
A prepositional phrase is a group of words that includes a preposition (at, around, after, before, by, for, from, in, of, on, to, with, etc.), an object, and other modifiers. Some examples of prepositional phrases:
after finishing our research
scope of the project
limitations of the application
on the other hand
in regards to
due to the fact that
Prepositional phrases generally behave like adjectives or adverbs: they tend to modify nouns or verbs. Prepositions are necessary parts of speech, but consecutive strings of prepositional phrases are hard to read. They are indirect, enumerative, and confusing.
Consider the following extremely general example:
The main objective of the study was to determine the perceived effects of the automation of the inventory restocking system over the period in which employees of the company were rotating on 10-hour shifts.
This sentence feels “wordy” because the reader gets lost in the serial prepositional phrases. You can see where the phrases begin an end between the slashes:
The main objective /of the study/ was to determine the perceived effects /of the automation/ /of the inventory restocking system/ /during the period/ /in which employees/ /of the company/ were rotating /on 10-hour shifts/. (34 words)
Consider two possible (increasingly aggressive) revisions:
The study's main objective was to determine the perceived effects of automating the company's inventory restocking system during the period when employees were rotating on 10-hour shifts. (27 words)
The study's main objective was to determine how automation affected the company's inventory restocking system during the period of 10-hour employee shift rotations. (23 words).
Prepositional phrase chains are particularly undesirable when they repeat the same preposition in adjacent phrases ("of the automation / of the inventory restocking system" in the above example).
To reduce wordiness and improve clarity, eliminate chains of prepositional phrases.
If you are interested in learning more about prepositions and how they impact clarity and concision, check out this 8-minute video from the Writing Center of the Naval Postgraduate School.
I like to say that there really is no such thing as “good writing.” There is only good revision.